Nose Whistling, Mashed Potato and Other Totally Reasonable Fears
Image via Wikipedia
My nose whistles. Not all the time, but probably for a full day once every month or two and I have no idea why.
In between whistling fits, I don’t generally give it much thought, kind of like having the hiccups or the flu, when it’s not actively destroying your life, you forget that it exists. But when it does re-appear, it is always at the most inappropriate of times. Most often at work and always when it is so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.
I’ll often be halfway through a staff meeting or trying not to laugh at something or someone in a serious situation when the nose starts whistling like an angry kettle and it will generally last the duration of the day.
I had totally forgotten about this affliction until I was re-watching Arrested Development last week and the episode came on where GOB broke his tooth and kept whistling (freaking hilarious!), which is pretty much exactly what I sound like when having a nose whistling attack. It got me thinking about quirks in general and the funny things that make people themselves. As we all know, I have a fear of high five-ing, which has plagued me since my teen years. I also have a fear of mashed potato.
I’d like to pre-empt this by saying that I love potatoes in general. Give me a chip or a roast potato any day. Baked (jacket) potatoes – love them! Even boiled potatoes bring me great joy. But mashed, or boiled to the point of mash, is just never going to fly with me. It’s a total crime against the sturdy potato!
I have had issues with it for years, but it wasn’t until about six years ago that I finally admitted it to other people. I was a vegetarian at the time and the cases of unintentional mash eating were becoming too much for me. Once I had announced it out loud to those closest to me, I was finally able to move forward fearlessly in my life.
It’s not generally accepted without questioning, in fact every boy I have dated since then has said (I quote) ‘That’s just because you haven’t tried mine. I make the best mash’ Yep, I’m sure you do and I’ll even pretend I enjoy it… but really, it makes me want to throw up. On myself.
The worst mash-related incident I have had was when travelling in Chile in 2006. I was traveling with a Chilean friend and we spent a fair amount of time with her extended family, eating until we couldn’t move. Vegetarianism wasn’t openly accepted in Chile and I was quite used to picking meat out of my sin-carne food while responding to comments of ‘that’s not meat, that’s ham’ with ‘oh, sorry, my mistake, muchos gracias’.
One day we were going to an aunt’s house and my friend had emphasised the whole sin-carne situation beforehand, clarifying ‘you do eat everything else right?’ ‘Yep, anything, just no meat!’.
So we rocked up to lunch, sat down at the table and aunty puts a plate of food in front of everyone. When my plate came out, she was looking thrilled to bits with herself as she placed it in front of me and I looked down in horror. In front of me sat a plate at least 20cms wide, piled high with nothing but grey, sloppy mashed potato. I looked at my friend in horror and had a small panic attack, before taking a deep breath and hoeing into it.
I still feel sick remembering it and when I hear the words mashed and potato in the same sentence, I still remember the sight, smell and taste of that plate full of mushy hell.
I was discussing quirks with my friend today and went through these main ones of mine, the mash, the high fives and the nose whistling. Hers were an inability too cross the road without a green man (kissing goodbye our chances of ever getting on The Amazing Race) and a serious hatred for chicken. The chicken thing is understandable as it’s a fairly hit and miss meat and was actually the last thing I returned to eating when I came to my senses after 7 years of vegetarianism, however my friend consciously buys and eats cage eggs without hesitation. Apparently she’s breaking even on the chickens she’s saving from being bred for food…
I realised during this discussion that the people I love the most are the ones with the funniest quirks, fears and passions. Fears of buttons, fear of cotton buds and an addiction to tuna are a few that spring to mind amongst my friends.
I’m now on a mission to discover the strangest thing about each of my good friends… Expect to be grilled, people!
I Can't High Five 
I love this post. I too have a whistle prone nostril, thankfully it doesn’t happen that often. Only in really quiet places where it is absolutely noticeable, like meetings, funerals, while I’m trying to sleep…
I think your nose whistle affliction may have something to do with “a bat in the cave.” Try blowing it out!! Hahaha!
Trust me, I have tried. I think I just have an overly enthusiastic nasal passage! Haha!
Hahaha!
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! I loved this post!
I’m almost officially addicted to orange Tic Tacs, love mashed potato and have a somewhat irrational dislike/fear of magpies.
A fear of magpies is never irrational – they are freaking scary with their beady eyes and their tendency to attack without warning if you look at them the wrong way… I actually have a massive fear of them swooping on, and kidnapping, my midget dog and avoid them at all costs (because these things totally happen in the real world)!
Thanks for reading 🙂
I have a few personal oddities on my own “About” page on my blog — including the fact that I have one hitchhiker’s thumb and one “straight” thumb. Bizarre, no?
But a whistling nose? That’s pretty good.
And BTW, any post that mentions GOB and/or Arrested Development is AWESOME in my book!
🙂
Haha, yay! One of the best tv shows ever, and they’re making more this year, apparently! Yay!
GOB – Anyway, it involves us making some money with our Mexican friends from Colombia.
Michael – I think they’re called Colombians.
GOB – Oh, I forgot, we’re being politically correct now.
while i don’t nose whistler, i do have a problem with a small airway. it’s the only explanation as to why I easily choke on food, especially parmesan cheese from the container.
What a great post! I have an irrational fear of owls, if I within two feet of one, I start to freak! I think it is the whole head moving big eyes that scare me, I am getting shivers even thinking about them!. I work with someone who has an abnormally loud laugh it almost sounds fake, they are generally quite reserved but if they are amused their laughter echoes around the office causing everyone to turn around!
It is not an irrational fear of owls. Keeping ones distance can be highly recommended. An acquaintance of mine in Walla Wallla Wa. was attacked by an owl while trying to clean up a family members grave site. She managed to escape, but had blood dripping from her neck, arms and other places the claws had gotten her. This happened in mid day also…. Wild animals are just that Wild!
Peace and Harmony,
Sallyjane
Thanks for sharing the humor … and good luck on the noble task of discovering about others.
Irrational fear of mayo. I feel you.
Nice post !
http://www.amiarting.wordpress.com
Two of my best friends are scard of anything, but they are alergic to the weirdest stuff. Meat, gel, coffee and chocolate. Try finding a place to eat free of all four… They’re weird, but why else would they hang with me.
Congradulations on being Fressly Pressed!
Congrats on getting Pressed! The WP gods have smiled upon you… funny women, unite!
http://maternitypeeve.wordpress.com/
LOVED this post! My brother is afflicted with “kettle nose” as we call it only his is CONSTANT! Poor man. He is also the noisiest chewer I’ve EVER known.
My weirdest fears are that someone will hear me fart, thunder, albinos, elevators and chewed gum hiding under tables. I have to be medicated for thunder. Thank God for Xanax!
Surely you could tune your musical nostril to your advantage. I’d buy your CD to play in the background while I swim around in my pool of mashed potato.
I’m going to try this next time, if I could whistle I think I’d be onto a good thing! 🙂
I feel so normal about my fears and loves now…. xDDDDDDD
I completely understand your mash phobia! I can only eat mash if I have made it myself and thus have supervised the mashing process! I feel very much the same about eating bananas in public! Its the mushiness! Much like mashed potato! Yuk! I recently wrote a blog post about this and many of my friends have since shared their “quirks”. Makes me feel less insane! haha.
Brilliant!
Awesome post. I love quirky people as well!
I feel somewhat sad about your fear of mashed potatoes. Also, doesn’t everyone’s nose whistle – when it gets stuffy and the like? Haha, anyway, this post is hilarious.
Thanks,the nice post.I like it.Only in really quiet places where it is absolutely noticeable
Congrats on Freshly Pressed! Do you remember the character on Ally McBeal who used to have a nose whistle? Hilarious!
Great post and great blog!
-Kristin
http://coupletastic.com/
I have an unreasonable fear of frogs; I’m also terrified of falling down (or up) stairs and of getting lost. We all have our burdens to bear.
And I feel the same way about squash that you do about mashed potatoes. 🙂 Fun post!
I definitely do not understand your fear of the mashed potato, since I fined them simple divine. Is it the texture you don’t like? Or have you just not had good ‘tasting’ mashed taters?
Also, agree with the bat in the cave comment. The hubs and I often get what we call affectionately as “snivler’s whistler” late at night when going to bed, so we make each other blow the nose until the whistle goes away. Good luck!
lmld.org 🙂
Love the post. I’ve got a totally rational fear of sweet potatoes and yams. I don’t know what they taste like and don’t want to find out. They just seem so orange. And what’s with the little marshmallows? They belong in mugs of hot cocoa not luring people to eat sweet potatoes and yams with their marshmallowy goodness.
Why are there marshmallows in your sweet potatoes?!?
I think someone out there is messing with you…
This is awesome! My favorite line is “that’s not meat, that’s ham”. uh-huh…right. Very funny. I once had someone tell me they met someone who reminded them of me because “we breathe the same”. “What, through my lungs?” I asked. I mean, come-on, don’t we all breathe the same? Apparently not. Apparently I have a distinct sound when I breathe, but suffice to say it is not a whistle…
Very funny post! I am this way with yogurt, something about its slimy, spineless texture drives me nuts.
I can’t imagine liking baked potatoes and not liking mashed potatoes–to me, they taste exactly the same, just with a different consistency. But that makes sense, I guess, because I love cranberries and would rather eat dry leaves on Thanksgiving than that gelatinous cranberry gooo.
HAHAHAHAHA I love this.
You got Freshly Pressed! Congratulations!
And am finally getting around to responding to my comments! Yay! 🙂
Who knew others had the same dislikes I did?! Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Your mission at the end of your blog is great. I like celebrating the little quirks about myself and about my friends. In fact, it was one of my friends who pointed out to me my main quirk (I’m a person of extremes)… and I was surprised at how much knowing that about myself shed light on my day-to-day life. I also eat my popcorn with a spoon.
Hehehe.. I think we all have our little quirks, and thats what makes us individual! I for instance have an immense dislike for orange pith and fruit salad… It makes me want to retch just thinking about them!!
There, I said it….
I feel so free!! 🙂
Once when I was a kid, my mom opened a box of instant mashed potatoes and there were hundreds of little black bugs crawling on the inside. Since then, I’ve struggled to eat them. The mere mention of mashed potatoes spurs visions of the little black bugs every time.
Worst. Nightmare.
Just another reason to avoid mash like the plague, I say!
Thanks for reading my blog!
My nose only whistles when my allergies kick in… its a kinda warning system that I’m going to have a raging headache in acouple hours, so its a good thing really. Cant comment on the mashed potato thing really, I’m addicted to Five Guys french fries; what do I know….
I have a thing against dead fish. I sometimes can’t even look in tanks at pet shops because they most usually have floaters in there staring at you! I also can’t eat anything that looks like it did when it was alive like whole fish, whole chickens. I love sushi though! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
My nose tends to whistle at hilariously inappropriate moments…Like, when The Boyfriend and I are…uh…snuggling, or when I’m trying to be really serious about something.
I’m afraid of bones in meat. I seriously can NOT eat anything like ribs, bone-in fried chicken, etc… I am apparently the weirdest person on earth for that according to everyone I know.
Ha! Cool mission! Makes me want to discover strange things about my friends, too…
I have a fear of breathing someone else’s air and I have hiccup epidemics.
If not for our quirks, we’d all be very boring bunch. Glad you had some to share with us!
There are levels of wrongness to be achieved with the mashed potato. The twice-baked and seasoned versions involving cheese and chives or whatever are the least offensive. You can still tell it’s mashed potato, but there are enough other textures in there that it’s survivable. Overcooked scalloped potatoes? No one is kidding me. Those are mashed and they are right there in the middle somewhere. The crunchy edges are okay. Mashed potatoes with the skins still floating in them are up near the top of the list somewhere right underneath those flakes that come in a box and harden into spongey gelatinous blobs on your plate. Seriously, when you pick up a bite of something with your spoon and your plate comes up with it, you probably shouldn’t eat it!!
Great post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I, personally, fear the dreaded eye twitch. Like your nose whistle, over the years it seemed to rear its ugly – erm – eye twitchiness during staff meetings, important job interviews, psychiatrist visits during which my release from a maximum security facility was being evaluated, blind dates, polygraph exams, IRS audits, depositions, high-stakes poker games, security clearance interviews and the like. Last year, I developed a lip twitch which – in addition to making me look like Elvis for over 24 hours – convinced me that I had everything from a brain tumor to cerebral palsy. A high school friend had a fear of people touching her clavicle. Really. Which meant we touched it every opportunity we got. And if we ever meet, I will grab your wrist and high five you, before serving you mashed potatoes. And you’ll call me “Twitchy” and, in general, distrust everything I have to say. Again, wonderful, funny writing. Keep it up. Those of us who write in the genre of silly things must stick together.
Omg, my eye twitches too!
You know it’s a bad day when your eye is twitching AND your nose is whistling.
Thanks for visiting my blog!
Can you eat potato pancakes? I mean, if you fry up the mashed potato into a small, thin potato pancake, will that save the night for you? The texture would be totally changed, and you wouldn’t have to feel guilty about wasting food… so maybe that would be a good trick for you.
If so, there are a lot of different ways to do it (latkes, German potato pancakes, Irish potato pancakes, etc.).
I’d be open to trying it, however I’m pretty confident I wouldn’t enjoy it, but hey, live life on the edge right! I’m gonna try potato pancakes this weekend!
interesante
Potatoes are generally filled with starch and take up a lot of room in your stomach that should be used for foods with a lot of protein and vitamins.
haha nice post
EYE TWITCH 😛 lolol
As a vegetarian who has lived in Mexico. I’ve gone through the “picking meat out of sin-carne meals experience’ more times than I can count.
I loved this post. It reminds me of my one really weird phobia. (You can read about it here if you’d like: http://cyrilandvivian.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/holey-crap/). Anyway, I linked to you in my blog so I hope that’s ok!
Jenna
I’m afraid of metal, I cringe at the sight of it, and as a result I more frequently than not use plastic utensils. And I’m addicted to cereal. When I say addicted I mean 5-8 bowls a day. So hey, we all have our quirks 🙂
Mashed potatoes really do have to be done right hahaha gotta love potato pancakes though
http://www.facebook.com/pages/When-You-Put-It-That-Way/127828144002433
http://whenyouputitthatway.wordpress.com/
Ah, the nose whistling–I think we’ve all experienced that. Even George Carlin once asked (during a sketch, “Little Things We All Share”), “Has your nose ever whistled while you were making love?”
I generally like mashed potatoes (though I prefer grits)–yet after reading your description of the grey mashed potatoes, I might double-check them next time I see them.
My most irrational fear was that of cats. As a child, I was terrified of cats–I wouldn’t even go out into my backyard because a man a block away had cats in his front yard. My mom explained that when I was a baby, a cat jumped on my back. And though I don’t remember this, it certainly would explain my fear. I finally overcame it though, when my oldest sister brought in a stray cat and let me pet it. Then I found there was nothing to be afraid of, that this creature was harmless.
I often have
Haha. I feel your pain. Like you, I have an extreme aversion to a certain food. I HATE peas. I cringe when I pop open a can to cook for my kids; they love them. I absolutely detest these little green balls that smell and look like something someone has already eaten and disposed of once. I cannot handle them in any form. Peas absolutely freak me out!
Yet again another great post! I am thankful I found your blog, it adds a little happiness to my day 🙂
Yay! Thanks for reading!
I can totally see the reason behind your fear of peas, they are a little sneaky looking – all round and green and rolling all over your plate.
I do love mushy peas with a passion though!
Funny…your fear is my great love. I love ’em mashed! But pickles…those scare me. I don’t know what it is…the vinegar smell, or the green bumpy texture…but I run when I see them, and don’t look back.
I have a fear of farting…my mother perfected the silent but deadly and my dad was just a tooter, and both mortified me to no end…I have managed to make sure it NEVER happens in front of anyone, EVER…its all about extreme control…
Everyone has their quirks…I have to have every room lit up like the 4th of July at night, until I’m ready to sleep and then it has to be pitch black…but I’m an energy-waster while I’m awake – no room can be dark, even if I won’t be in it all night…doesn’t matter, gotta turn on the lights…
I love this! It made my day 🙂 I laughed SO hard! And I must add that mashed potatoes are not one of my favorite either. UNLESS they are like drenched with melted cheese.
Just so you know, celery is the scariest food I have ever encountered. It’s like this green stick of blah that magically appears in salads. I hate it!
You really need to try my sister’s mashed potatoes. Divine!
I have a legendary pavlovian response to all things inappropriate, like someone sneezing in church is enough to make me pee my pants. Not right away mind you – first I start convulsing as quietly as possible, tears then start to stream down my cheeks, then I try to disguise my laughter as wheezing and then if I can’t stop the train, I pee. If I heard your nose whistle for a day, I’d better be wearing my Depends.
Awesome post!
I’m reading this again LOL, and laughing
!!!
Strangers who stand too close and mean to just to get a reaction, dehydration, skinny cats, and hominy (white or yellow, doesn’t matter). Also, an aversion to going to bed before midnight, which is bad for one’s health, I know…but I just feel like I’m missing out on something if I go to bed before then. This post was enjoyable. lol 🙂
When you said you feared mashed, I at first thought you had a fear of the dance, the mashed potato, which is completely reasonable because its movements are quite vigorous and treacherous.
There’s a DANCE? God lord, why would someone make up such a thing! Haha!
Thanks for reading my blog!
My nose whistles when it’s blocked and stuff too! I thought I was the only one out there whose nose whistles for no reason (I mean does it have to whistle when it’s blocked?) Nice post of yours by the way, and I love mashed potato, especially from 7-11 or Kentucky fried chicken. Of course if you give me a mountain of it I’ll run!
bestsellingstuff.wordpress.com
My nose whistles when it’s blocked and stuff too! I thought I was the only one out there whose nose whistles for no reason (I mean does it have to whistle whenever it’s blocked?) Nice post of yours by the way, and I love mashed potato, especially from 7-11 or Kentucky fried chicken. Of course if you give me a mountain of it I’ll run!
bestsellingstuff.wordpress.com
7-11 sells mashed potato?!?!? What is the world coming to?
Thanks for visiting my blog! 🙂
i love this post
http://webbookmark.in/
Well I’m pretty awesome so I’m not entirely sure I have many oddities apart from the fact that I check my hair about 20 times a day and I detest y-fronts.
Ha, oh my god, my mum has this and I thought it was just her nose that whistled!, I dont even think she knows it does it. I think I am going to get her to watch the program. Also the mashed potatoe thing.. well Im with you on that one, I once went to my ex boyfriends parents house for Sunday lunch, to find that his mother had not washed the potatoe’s before cooking them and mashing them, needless to say ….. GRITTY POTATOES! Not good.
Your post reminds me of my childhood. I love M.P.’s (aren’t you glad I didn’t spell them out. I’m that way. You’re welcome.) and I never could understand why my favorite aunt’s were so soupy and didn’t meet my expectations for them. That is until I found out they were “CREAMED CAULIFLOWER!” aaaaaaggghhhhhh!!!!! and gaaaasssssppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I ask if someone’s don’t look like M.P.’s just to be sure. Great post. J.
http://contemporarymusings.wordpress.com
Hahaha that’s good to know. I also love all kinds of potato except mashed. I can’t swallow a potato I can’t chew.
Recently, I always seem to have a booger in my nose. It started about 3 months ago so I finally decided to take matters in my hands and go round with tissue, a mirror and vaseline always on hand. It just got so embarrassing. Hopefully this ‘trend’ stops soon.
Yay! Now when someone laughs at my irrational fear of clowns (quite a common thing actually!) I can finally say,
“Hah…Well at least I’m not scared of mashed potato!”
Does that make me just sound a little bit weirder??
Strangest thing about me: I fall in love with everyone. Fortunately, I have learned how to do this secretly, so no improper ramifications.
Heyy, i’ve got a fear of handlin Match Sticks. I simply detest the smell of a freshly burning match stick!
Also, i hate Rubber Bands..!
and i just figured out by your post that i am normal 🙂
well written, crisp and one of the very few articles that can convey a tinge of humor in a subtle way.
have a check at my posts too. i’m an Engineering student from Manipal, India and my subjects of interest include girls and philosophy amongst a few..
http://fr3lancer.wordpress.com/
Esp visit the “How do you make em manipal girls fall for you” Series..they are my Aces!!!
Hilarious! I live that episode of Arrested Development. Some of my fears: snails and slugs, canned veggies, and clowns.
they served something in disneyworld called “princess mashed potatoes.” they mix cream cheese instead of butter. it’s excellent.
as for nose whistling, i started reading thinking you were male because males have that issue when their nose hairs get too long or too cumulative. however, women don’t usually have that issue. therefore, as was previously suggested, get a tissue and blllloooowwww.
Very funny post, I really enjoyed this one. I too am a nose whislter and I have a big nose too so when it starts it is never anything I can cover up. I think the quietness thing is in my head, whenever I have a day my nose whistles I think everything just seems dead quite. That is waht I tell myself anyway. As far as fears go I think my biggest is spiders. I am a man who hunts, can fix about anything in the house, builds things with his hands and most people who know me know that I am pretty steady minded and have it together. Put me in a room with a tiny little spider and I scream like its armageddeon. Not man screams either, I would best compare my spider fear scream to that of a six year old girl. It is not so bad I at least have come to terms with my fear and I often make fun of it and joke about my reactions with others but it is still a big fear og mine.
once of my closest friends is terrified of tea after being told as a child that tea bags were actually full of crushed dead spiders, she even refused to move into an amazing apartment/flat because the building was once a tea warehouse.
Great story, despite the feeling that overcame me when you described the mashed potatoes. Ahemmm, still feeling it. Anyway, talk about little things and annoyances? I cannot, I repeat, cannot tolerate two things:
1–when a draw is closed and has an item of clothing sticking out of it. Please don’t ask me to explain this. It would take hours.
2–water around the kitchen or bathroom sinks. They must be dry, ALWAYS, I tellya!!
So, now, do you think I’m nuts?
val
http://valentinedefrancis.wordpress.com
Haha, hilarious! But both totally reasonable!
Thanks for reading!
Great, hilarious post! Your fellow nose whistlers salute you!
My dad can’t STAND mashed potatoes. To the point where he looks at anyone enjoying them as if they were total idiots.
I get that look a lot from him. I always double-up and take his serving as well. It’s a win-win.
I like mashed potatoes 😀 How do you feel about yams? As in the mashed and loaded with butter and sugar kind. I really hate those. Actually refused to make them my first 7 some odd thanksgivings. I eventually had to give in and start making them but have to rely on others for sweetness and consistency as I refuse to taste test them.
anywho, great post and grats on FP.
I just googled ‘What is a yam?’ Bahaha! I call it sweet potato, and I LOVE sweet potato in any way, shape or form! Roast sweet potato, sweet potato chips, boiled sweet potato… yep, EVEN on the odd occasion mashed sweet potato! So much flavour! So good! 🙂
Thanks for reading my blog!
I used to feel the same way about hummus, falafel, schwarma and tehini. My family would make fun of me saying that I’m not a real Israeli because I don’t like all the food that Israelis are supposed to like. I fixed my problem with falafel pretty easily. I must say, living in Israel for over five years would eventually take its toll on your dietary habits. My boyfriend is the one who convinced me that hummus is actually yummy. Hummus (which is actually mashed chick peas) varies from brand to brand and from person to person. And it needs to be eaten in a specific way, a specific setting, with pita and only pita. Sliced bread won’t do, and you need to practice the Middle Eastern twist of the wrist to get the “wiping” method right.
I still can’t stand schwarma or tehini.
Oh yeah, and chocolate is my ultimate addiction 🙂
The first comment I read just blew me away with laughter – I have never heard of a whistling nose. Come to think of it – I’ll bet a Netti Pot would help – It sure cleans my sinuses – Use it 3 times a week or sometimes more- I got it at Wild Oats but Walgreens sells them now. You can buy the wash also. I make my own with DISTILLED water WARMED and 1/4 Teaspoon SEA SALT- do not use tap water-you want it pure so no infections can get in the nose. It could help -BUT EVER SO OFTEN, my throat growls- In a quiet enviroment-without warning- it will sound like your stomach growling but much longer and louder. In Church, Meetings, Funerals, Intense scenes in Movies & you have to let it run is course- no stopping it- then comes the stares – the smiles – then the shakes occuring when trying not to laugh.
Oh well, humor gets us through in these so uncertain times.
I hate when my nose whistles! My quirks generally involve smelling things and food. I figure it’s much better to be strange though….normal is just so boring. I enjoyed reading this, Thanks!
Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed. I love your posts! You are so funny.
Thank you so much for your kind words – and for reading my blog 🙂
I get the nose whistle too but have found a way to make the best of it, as sick as it is. When my fiance laughs at me for nose whistling I tell him to close his eyes and imagine he is at the beach. I then slowly breathe in through my nose and it sounds like seagulls. EVERY TIME he opens his eyes laughing and says “It really DOES sound like the beach!” bahahaha….
Gross, but kind of hilarious.
Great post!
Hahaha! I didn’t even think of likening it to a seagull! Hilarious!
Thanks for reading and good to know other people suffer the affliction!
That’s exactly what I think of too when my nose whistles !!! Drives me nuts when I’m trying to sleep.
Thanks for all your lovely comments and likes, I am overwhelmed by the response to getting Freshly Pressed, you are all awesome!
I’ve tried to do the Mashed Potato dance a few times, but I suck rather mightily at it.
It’s Okay, I also have completely irrational fears, I think its “normal”. I for one am always wary of toilet snakes, even though I live in the South west of England and have new plumbing. I share your friends inability to cross roads without a green man, It’s a nightmare getting around London.
Good luck to you in being a human.
xxx
i LOVE mashed potatoes! but to each their own I guess. 🙂 Truly, it’s amazing how DIVERSE and STRANGE the world is… even in fears! Haha! Interesting, very interesting!
Haha, i love this. Everyone has a weird fear or two. I knew someone that was afraid of crayons. Never understood why.
nose whistling LOL
Humor writing, iLikes !! i couldn’t stop my laugh when today, I saw something coming out of my colleague’s nose when he was sneezing and he got embarrassed.
I hate snails
I too developed a loathing of mashed potatoes, but it was from familiarity, my school served some form of potato for every meal, breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’m done.
Hilarious post – made me laugh today! BTW, quirky is good!
Great post! You just haven’t had *my* Irish smashed potatoes yet — they involve kale, onions, garlic, bacon and lots of cheese! But I only smash them rather than full on mash because I can’t stand semi-liquid potatoes!
No one else seems to share my irrational fears, however. I have a deep instinctive aversion to small, seemingly purposeless, cinder block outbuildings. They tend to dot the rural countryside and just driving past one in a car makes me cringe and shudder and drive faster. I also recently discovered that I’m terrified of antique hospital gurneys.
But I’ll catch a snake or a spider or a wasp no problem.
Oh, and you know what’s grosser and more embarrassing than nose whistling? When you have a bad cold, blow your nose, and goo squirts out your eyes instead! It’s a real thing, I promise…
Haha, that’s disgusting!
Smashed potatoes are great! With the skins still on? YUMMMMMM
Thanks for reading my blog!
How you look at mashed potatoes, I look at icing on cakes/cupcakes. It makes me shiver just to think of eating that sugary goop. I can’t stand any kind of icing. Not vanilla, chocolate, cream cheese or otherwise. Good luck avoiding your food!
Love it! While its not exactly a fear, I cannot and do not sleep if my nose whistles at night. Its such a highly irratating sound and will drive me mad with frustration. I also have a fear of sultanas.
I’m scared of looking dumb, but I try to face my fears, so I end up looking dumb – a LOT!
Haha, I read a really good quote recently which I can’t believe I just found with one brief Google.
“No one looks stupid when they’re having fun” – Amy Poehler
I love it, so true! Similarly, no one is going to look dumb while facing their fears! Unless, of course it’s me trying to eat Mashed potato, in which case I probably imagine looking more green and on the verge of death than dumb.
Thanks for reading my blog!
The nose whistling would be a dreadful thing to have to live with. As for a fear of high fiving, I must admit I’ve never heard of anyone having that before. I love mashed potatoes & couldn’t imagine life without them. Maybe you don’t like them because you haven’t tried mine yet. 😛
The phrases “Crossing the road” & “Chicken being hit & miss” totally cracked me up as all I could think of was a poor old chicken trying to cross a busy highway swarming with cars & trucks all the while trying not to get run down. I am easily amused by simple things…
I have very intense dislike of umbrellas, which I think is reasonable. Although, most people find it very odd…
Dee Dee Sharp, “Give Me Gary, On My Mashed Potatoes…” – Capitol Records. I still have the (clean unscratched) 45rpm. As for the food, my fiancee` said recently, “..You make all kinds of [extravagant gourmet] foods for yourself, why you can’t make mashed potatoes?”
Because they are too much trouble – even the flakes in the boxed ones. Maybe after we get together, mashed spuds will be HER job and I’ll eat’em! Have you ever tried spicing them up with parsley, butter, olive oil, bacon bits, fresh spinach bits or another suitable garnish? Probably not, because it is probably like when my Mum would serve LIVER! Yeech! and NOTHING I tried to drown it’s bitter taste, not catchup, Tabasco, onions or garlic worked. I congratulate you on getting Pressed like some crisp, freshly sliced “Ruffles Have Ridges”!
Haha mashed potatoes is such a strange fear! I have a fear of losing brain cells 🙂
I have a fear of shrimps…raw ones. I love eating them but not looking at them with the shells and the eyes… I always cringe and feel weird when I see professional cooks cooking them or peeling them in cooking shows…haha
sometimes nose whistling have a little annoying，i have a little nose whistling too
I don’t have a fear per se, but I do not like any of the “tree and shrubbery” vegetables – anything that looks like it belongs in a landscaping design stays off my plate.
big yellow garden spiders, clowns, and the eyes in portraits.
Although I am fine with frogs being in my house, I am not fine with them being in my bedroom when I am trying to sleep. I don’t want the snakes or lizards coming in at all, but the Lizards don’t seem to even think about trying to come in through the open door when I am coming and going. The Snakes don’t seem to climb my steps onto my porch, so I am ok with them being outside at least if they are small ones. Large ones… I live in Rattle Snake Country, sooo…
You should see me trying to chase frogs out of my bedroom at bedtime! It is hilarious! Oh I should mention I live on several thousand acres on a Ranch. Spiders, if they are Daddy long legs they can just hang out wherever, but if they are black and creepy looking (most likely black widows) they have to go. I know I have rats coming into my bathroom, but can not figure out when, but I find their droppings from time to time. They are just a normal part of Ranch life. Okay those are some strange oddities that probably only apply to me and where I live. Oh and driving by logging trucks is a big fear of mine too. I am afraid of them loosing their load of logs on top of me!
Peace and harmony,
Sallyjane
Mashed potatoes are “scary” in my opinion, but not as scary as the scalloped potatoes! Ugh, how disgusting.
My quirks tend to be too endless to name…..
my nose totally whistles, more than often:) and i have quite a list of OCDs and phobias [that wouldn’t necessarily be diagnosed as…..severe ones but they’re severe for me alright!] so i totally get ya. If you want to hear my most bizarre one – i have most horrible panic fear of anchors….and not even generally anchors but ONLY when they are in the water.And maybe right after being taken out of it.Yeah.
What a hilarious post – loved it 🙂 I hate the sounds of ice in people’s mouths. I cringe beyond belief when people (*ugh cringing now*) chomp upon the ice in their glass. Why why why? Also I hate when the ice hits the glass…and people swivel it…. ha ha I sound rather mad – but there you have it. I hate ice. xox
High fivers make me uncomfortable. Living in the US where a lot of people do it is awkward. We just don’t do it in Britain. Don’t judge me for my poor aim and hand-eye coordination.
But mash? God, I LOVE mashed potatoes.
I was a vegetarian when I lived in Spain and found similar issues. Life revolved around a great deal of sweaty cheese and, at one point, croutons when my friends wanted to try out the Museo de Jamon. Great post.
Oh goodness, I can empathize! I have weird food hang-ups, too, and am also a vegetarian. I feel so high-maintenance when I go to dinner parties (I’m always greeted with looks of horror and confusion when I tell folks I don’t eat animal products or gluten). But, as I’ve gotten older, I find myself less self-concious about my unique preferences – as well as more tolerant of the quirks of others!
Love it! I have a nose whistle thing too, but it’s a bit different. My nose’s betrayal is more cunning, because it is so random. Usually I can blow runny nose delicately enough as to not draw the attention of those around me, but every now and then the end of the blow comes out as sharp as the whistle your dad always used to summon you from blocks away when it was dinner time and you were playing hop scotch down the street.
It comes completely out of the blue, and every person in the room jumps to attention to stare at you. Luckily, most people are too refined to hold their stare for longer than a beat, but the damage is done!
I look forward to more from you!
Hilarious!! Totally something that no one wants to admit, but it happens and its ridiculous every time….
This is laugh out loud funny! Love it
Lucky you! I myself can’t whistle with my whatever organ used in whistling! Haha
I have the same thing towards orange, all I could remember is the taste of artificial orange juice on board of my first flight as a child…every time! even as we speak I just can’t help but to feel sick and full to the level of puking…Ironically I have a high degree of color blindness that I could only see orange as clear, and the rest is just a mess of colors I cannot name or recognize…
Thanks for the inspiration :-p
This is such a cute post! Best of luck with the olfactory orchestra..
Love the post, I am afraid of moths…. totally harmless creatures but they just scare me